I'm Just Not Feeling It

I’ll never forget my conversation with a woman I’ll call “Pam.” We were talking about her sexual response, which was impaired. Interestingly, her libido was intact, and she was able to orgasm on her own, but found it almost impossible to respond with her partner.

Pam was the perfect example of inhibited sexual response, with intact desire (libido) and ability to orgasm. So, this deserved some sleuthing, and I started to probe. The first thing I wanted to know about was how she felt about her body. Particularly with women, it’s extremely common for us to be hyper-focused on what we don’t like about our bodies, and assume that our partner is not only noticing, but judging us for our perceived flaw. This, in and of itself, is a huge buzz-kill! There becomes so much noise about the imperfection that we can’t be present for the experience, and our response gets inhibited (this goes on in our heads... remember how we discussed that infernal internal dialogue in the blog “ Enjoy Your Fantasy“?).

Of note, I have never, ever heard a man or woman complain about a body part (fat thighs, big bum, non-perky breasts) of their partner. Really....

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